Matrix 4

 

A Charming Escape from our Dystopian Times.

Ted Lasso is Cheerier than COVID

 

Ted Lasso: Cheerier Than COVID

Sasquatch has a reality problem

Sasquatch is the true-crime documentary of a murder in the

“Emerald Triangle” area of northern California. The crime was a triple-homicide in the fall of 93.

 

Episode 1 needlessly deals with Sasquatch lore in the area. It distracts from the triple murder. I have to spend valuable brain energy reminding myself that an eight-foot tall Great Ape isn’t real. I marveled at the art of deception as creator David Holthouse that a figment of popular imagination is real. It distracts from a plain-Jane murder mystery.

 

It was a letdown.  

Reality is much cooler.

Cape Fear or How To Coast in Respectability As The Greatest Director™

 

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Cape Fear or How To Coast in Respectability As The Greatest Director™

 

There are movies that  are Great Movies™ and there are movies that I Need To Say Are Good Movies™. Cape Fear(1991) feels like a 30-year-old movie, because it is. Back then, movies didn’t have to compete with Twitter, or your Bird App friends. You could sit and watch a movie. Playing with a phone would have been strange, because it was just a phone! All it did was call people! Imagine! The horror!

 

Cape Fear is a slow-burner of a movie. Think CSI: Nondescript North Carolina Beach Town but longer. Nick Nolte, pre-brain-damage, plays a lawyer who didn’t adequately defend a scumbag. Less than believably played by Robert DeNiro.

 

All I gotta ask is

HOW?!

How did DeNiro find Nolte once he was released? Nolte had recently relocated from Georgia where DeNiro had committed the crime. It’s a big world! The internet wasn’t around! Not even dial-up! How did he find them! How!

 

Explain, Scorsese! You made Good Fellas! Do Better! Smash edits aren’t enough to build tension anymore! You can’t transition your way to an Oscar! This isn’t Taxi Driver! The men see each other in a theater. Ok. What? How did he know he was going to be there with no search history to hack?

 

Gah! This why White-People-Can’t-Cook-Twitter™ is so much more compelling! Marty, ya gotta be better than that blonde lady doing a step-by-step montage of pan-seering dry spaghetti wrapped in raw ground beef in a star burst reduction! It ain’t 1991 anymore!

 

  

 

Cape 

 

 

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Serenity?

Serenity is a very creepy neo-noir that wants to be something else? My only question is what. The Matrix .5? (Another) One Flu Over the Cookoo’s Nest?

There are plot holes big enough to drive a long-haul truck through. Anne Hathaway plays the wayward wife of a drug lord, or not(?!) who cooks up a scheme right out of a 1940s noir. And then, the late 2010s show up, because reasons. Mathew McConaughey plays a role that could have been written for Humphrey Bogart. And then, those pesky 2010s showed up. Anne Hathaway was either too young, or in certain parts, too old? I mean, I’m no fool, but come on! They didn’t go to school together! Either change a few lines, or get a lady he could have actually sat in that geography class with! The movie needs to be longer. It’s like we walk into the movie thirty minutes in. Their lack of backstory is soooo odd. Until they literally invent a twist just to explain an epic brain cramp that the writer had.

I mean, when Game of Thrones had bad writing, they at least didn’t try to make it make sense. They at least had the decency to own the cray cray, not to turn it into The Matrix .5!

I got into Game of Thrones because of my life-long passion for history. I came to see it as the greatest story ever.

A grand saga which was actually true.

Be Sure to check out my History Podcast by clicking the Podcast Republic button at the right.

I haven’t been here in a while, but I’ll return to give you guys the snarky content you’ve come to expect.

True Detective got it's grove back

Some things on tv shouldn't be a series.

They shouldn't come out every year. 

They should make you want to race home.

Season 3 does that.

via GIPHY