Star Trek Discovery: Pilot: The Vulcan Hello

You know what we can't do, Klingons. We as a country can't get our arms around Klingons. Every major iteration of Star trek has a completely different take on what a Klingon looks like. 

Also why is Star trek an action franchise now? Who signed off on that?

Also, and this really annoys me: Why in the name of all that's holy does every single spaceship bridge on every single show have to look like something out of the Apple genius store now? 

We get it Apples are amazing, it's a quick way to show everybody that you're wealthier than other people, we get it. I'm so impressed. 

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But exactly why does every single spaceship have to look like an Apple store. How much is Tim Cook paying y'all to do that?

But let me get back to the Klingons. What is going on with the Klingons? Come on, we know from every other Sci-Fi show on every other planet that the dominant intelligent species all look alike. This is Syfy 101. Not with the Klingons. No, they look like all kinds of different people. Maybe they're like some multicultural warrior race on some far-off planet?

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You know what? I'm sure that there's going to be an explanation. And I'm sure the internet is forever, so I know I'm going to write this out and some Trekkie is going to come back and defend some of the most valuable intellectual property in the history of anything like its real. And really I relish all this.

I want to like Star Trek Discovery. But it feels like a masterclass called “How to Butcher a Franchise.” It actually feels like CBS is daring us to like this. They put it on a network that's only available on the computer and you have to pay you like 6 bucks a month to watch that and probably nothing else. It's like they're really just screwing with you.

I mean at least HBO is charging a lot of money for their service so you can watch Game of Thrones. I mean Game of Thrones is like a commitment. Plus, like you're educating yourself on the high middle ages. You just have to subtract out the dragons and the magic. I don’t know about you, but I feel like I'm being educated whenever I watch Game of Thrones. Whenever I watch Star trek I feel like I'm watching a commercial for what they thought the future was like in the 60s.