Shazam! is the Singularity

Shazam! Is a funny story about about a superhero which was at one time owned by Marvel. 

A foster kid fights evil as a grown man. It feels like an uncanny copy, because it is.

It feels like what would happen if Saturday Night Live did a superhero movie. It's a superhero film that understands it's for kids. And when the kids are doing the talking, the show shines. When the adults get involved, it feels like a very clunky Law & Order episode. Like the adults know that there is something wrong with a thirty-something man who acts like a middle-schooler paling around with a boy, they just can't put their finger on what it is.

2019's Shazam! feels like pop culture folding in on itself. It shamelessly borrows from Harry Potter. 

Hollywood, don't borrow from yourself. Copy from the War of the Roses!

The (Re-) Avengers!

The Avengers (2012) follows the well-worn trope of a prison transport movie where the transport gone horribly, awfully wrong. Hollywood has a proud tradition of Prison-Transport-Movies-Gone-Horribly-Wrong genre. This time with superheroes! 

There's a civil war between a Viking God from another dimension and a government agency which sub contracts out its work to people in tights.

They use a scientific staff with anger problems aboard a ship in close quarters as if to say nothing could possibly go wrong. 

But you know it will. You wouldn't pay money to see it if the situation was going to be alright, right? In the Prison-Transport-Goes-Horribly-Wrong genre, we pay to see failure, not success. Why would we want to see success?

Of course there has to be a battle in New York City which puts Ghostbusters to shame. And the battle has to take a long time.

I mean with Game of Thrones it's all in a nice neat package. And the prison transport is easily dispensed with.

Game of Thrones, that is so much better.

Rachel McAdams is in a funk.

She's in yet another movie where the man she loves goes off into another dimension. Except this time we get to see the dimensional shifting! That's a terrific improvement over The Time Traveler's Wife. The whole time I'm watching I'm thinking "I wish I could see the dimensional shifting that Rachel McAdams’s man goes through!" Well now I do in Marvel Studio's Dr $trange.

I guess BBC doesn't pay Benedict Cumberbatch enough to play Sherlock Holmes, so he has to run out and do comic book movies. I hope we don't see in The Benedict Cumberbatch $tory which is going to come out in about the year 2050 that Dr. $trange caused horrible heartache and some sort of drug dependency problem.

Hmmmm...Although it totally sounds like an awesome movie! I'm going to call it: The Benedict Cumberbatch $tory is already the early Oscar favorite of the year 2050! I can't wait I'm going to start eating kale now just so I'll be alive to see it!

Seriously why did marvel studios have to give us another Matrix?